


Guilt and Blame

by Rivulet027



Category: Power Rangers in Space
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-20
Updated: 2011-03-20
Packaged: 2017-10-17 03:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Rocky and TJ blame themselves when Justin is killed during CtD.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt and Blame

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Power Rangers. It's not my toy box, I'm merely playing.  
> A/N: Hint of Rocky/Adam. Written for the angst_bingo prompt: character death so warning character death Justin and Carlos' uncle.

TJ leaned heavily against Rocky unable to find the words that were pounding over and over through his head. He passed the bottle back to Rocky, wishing that he felt numb enough that this aching pain, guilt, would fade.

Instead he found himself staring steadily at the fresh grave.

“This is all my fault,” Rocky choked beside him.

TJ closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to face those words.

Rocky heaved out a sigh, “I never should have given him the morpher.”

“Did you actually give him the morpher?” TJ asked.

Rocky seemed to pause, “Hmmm, what?”

TJ repeated himself as he leaned his head against Rocky’s shoulder so he could get a better look at the man beside him.

“Giving him my communicator and sending him as my replacement was enough.”

TJ is surprised that Rocky makes sense, his own words sound slurred on his lips.

“I couldn’t even come to the funeral,” TJ complained. If he’d known outing himself as a Power Ranger meant he couldn’t attend Justin’s funeral than he wished he could take it back.

“It was horrible,” Rocky told him before he took a sip from the bottle they’d been sharing.

“This is horrible,” TJ stated, eyes still fixed on Justin’s grave.

“It is,” Rocky agreed.

They lapsed into silence.

TJ ran a hand over his face and said, “Storm Blaster keeps trying to tell me something and I don’t understand.”

“Maybe he misses Justin as much as we do,” Rocky suggested.

“Maybe,” TJ agreed even though a part of him nagged that Rocky was wrong. He wasn’t able to commiserate long because friends were suddenly surrounding them. TJ blinked, not quite comprehending everything Ashley was asking him.

“I’m fine, gonna stay here,” Rocky slurred to Adam.

“No, you’re coming home with me,” Adam told him firmly.

TJ almost toppled over as Tommy and Jason helped Rocky to his feet as Adam pulled him into a hug and told him, “We’ll get through this.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Rocky whimpered.

“We will,” Adam stated firmly.

TJ watched the three men help Rocky to a nearby car before he realized he was leaning against Carlos. He glared, “I’m staying right here.”

“No,” Cassie told him, “We need to look at you, how much did you have?”

“Not enough.”

Carlos stayed silent and TJ closed his eyes. He could still see the fresh grave, even with his eyes closed.

“What are you going to do? Puke on his tombstone.”

TJ turned to take in the pain on Carlos’ face. He wrapped his arms around his friend and buried his face in his shoulder, “I’m sorry. I…I just can’t get it out of my head that we were fighting when he was killed and w…we weren’t where he needed us to be.”

“Yeah, I know,” Carlos acknowledged before he and Cassie helped TJ to his feet. TJ wasn’t too clear on how they got him to the med room after that, but he let them get him comfortable on a table, listened as Andros fussed.

Which was weird, Andros fussing.

Eventually they turned the light out and left him there in the dark. He’d begged to be left alone and now he wasn’t so sure that he wanted to be alone in the dark with his guilt, not when he could be staring at the object of his guilt.

The light brightened by a degree and TJ covered his eyes.

“Carlos is angry,” Karone told him.

“I got drunk,” TJ explained.

Karone pulled up a chair and took his hand, “Why is that upsetting him?”

“One of his uncles died of alcohol poisoning. He doesn’t like it when anyone drinks.”

Karone nodded, then frowned, “I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m sor…”

“Don’t,” TJ cut her off, “You don’t get to be sorry for this. This isn’t your fault. This is mine.”

There he’d said it.

“This is my fault,” he said, the words finally firm, “They trusted me to take care of him. I was the leader, he was my responsibility an..and I should, should’ve made him come with us.”

Karone leaned down and caught his eyes before she pointed out, “What would I have done if you’d had a kid with you the first time I met you?”

TJ frowned, his mind not quite comprehending what she was trying to say.

“I’d have been fascinated,” Karone told him, “I’d have taken him from you and then this would be worse.”

“I can’t imagine losing him being worse than this,” TJ told her.

“Keeping him here, letting him have a life and be safe was the best thing you could’ve done for him,” she tried.

“He’s dead,” TJ glared, “Justin is dead.”

The words made his stomach ache and he groaned covering his eyes.

“Yes, he is,” Karone agreed, “but this isn’t your fault and you’re right, it isn’t mine. This is Dark Specter’s fault and he’s dead so we can’t even really blame him so instead we’re blaming ourselves.”

“I was responsible for him.”

“He was responsible for himself.”

“He was only fourteen.”

“I know,” she told him, “but he…I didn’t get to know him and I’m sorry for that, but even though I didn’t know Justin I don’t think he’d want you to blame yourself.”

TJ closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “I know.”

She stayed a moment longer, tucked him in and he waited until she was gone, before he told the empty room, “That doesn’t stop me from blaming myself.”


End file.
